Lime Scooter Affirmations

Earlier this year, I agreed to sew a 5 foot tall rabbit plushie in exchange for a tattoo. I got the tattoo in April, and even though the artist said I could take my time with the giant rabbit, this debt weighed heavily upon my conscience. I decided that I needed to make this rabbit the first week of August or I would lose my mind.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially anxious, I listen to ASMR videos where someone reassures me that everything is fine, there is nothing to stress about, and it's fine to take a break. I almost always do this while multitasking on whatever is stressing me out, which probably defeats the purpose, but it is slightly reassuring nonetheless. However, I also find many of the videos unsettling. A whispered voice absolving me of any personal responsibility while occasionally slipping in sponsored product placement ads and begging me to Like, Comment, and Subscribe is extremely creepy. Any relaxation I feel dissolves into even worse anxiety and guilt over my own complicity in the escalating crisis of capitalism.

I remember an old roommate of mine watching a yoga video where the repeated mantra was, "I am a money-magnet". I was thinking about that again earlier this year and decided to write my own ASMR script, a combination of inoffensively encouraging affirmations, offputting consumerist affirmations, and affirmation of the inalienable American right to ride a Lime scooter while intoxicated. When I tried recording it, I discovered that I do not have a comforting ASMR voice and had no idea what to do with this scary mp3 file. After a failed attempt at a deconstructed club remix, the idea was shelved for a few months.

My friend Alice helped me photograph the giant rabbit at the park, and I liked the photos so much I decided to make risograph prints of them. While I was editing, I thought maybe a Lime scooter could help demonstrate the scale of the giant rabbit. I used my Lime Scooter ASMR script as a poem, maybe narrating what the rabbit is thinking or listening to as she lay semi-unconscious next to the scooter, unable to figure it out.

Written August 2026.